Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
