he thought i was a dude.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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