who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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