I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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