i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
