I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
