the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
