Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?

(1-250): View more from British Columbia

tequila

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(847): View more from Illinois

my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.

(224): View more from Illinois

I'm with your mom on this one.

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(847): View more from Illinois

but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear

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(678): View more from Georgia

Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids

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(714): View more from California

I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born

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(204): View more from Manitoba

We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul

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(540): View more from Virginia

Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same

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