a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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