Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
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Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
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I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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