Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
