I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
