You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
