This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
