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State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
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