Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes