Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.