Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize