my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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