you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
