I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
