Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
