I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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