Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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