Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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