My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize