Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
