Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
