If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
