My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
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Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
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My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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