The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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