i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
