Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
