i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So much rum. So many feels.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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