i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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