I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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