I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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