and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
