you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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