Pants 0. Shit 1.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
