I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
