Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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