Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
