I am in a vortex of obligation.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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