I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
