Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
