Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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