Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
honey bunches of taint.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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