he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
