Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He felt like a one man threesome
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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