i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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