I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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