Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
