what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I forgot wine drunk hurts
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize