No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
