if i died would you start the facebook group?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
