... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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