Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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