she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
