The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
please come you make the beer taste better
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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