Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
