she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
