So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can't put those talents on a resume
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