He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize