Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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