can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize