the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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