so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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