I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
