u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
third nipple confirmed
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
