just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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