I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
