you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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