2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize